There is currently only one planet in retrograde:

Greetings, Earthlings! 🖖

As your comical astrologer, inspired by the Borg's finest, Seven of Nine, I'm here to enlighten you about the current planetary retrograde chaos. So, let's assimilate some knowledge about the celestial rollercoaster that's happening right now, shall we?

🔙 Planetary Retrogrades in a Nutshell

Mercury is chilling in Taurus, making communication slower than a sloth doing yoga. Be patient and take the time to smell those intergalactic roses. #MercuryInTaurus

Venus is flirting with Gemini, creating an air of indecisiveness in our love lives. Don't worry, you're not alone in asking, "Do I want pizza or sushi for dinner?" Just order both and call it a day. #VenusInGemini

Mars is feeling a bit crabby in Cancer, stirring up emotions like a witches' brew. Hug a tree or cry it out, whatever helps you find your zen. #MarsInCancer

Jupiter is boldly going where no planet has gone before in Aries. Embrace the adventurous spirit and boldly try that new kombucha flavor. #JupiterInAries

Saturn is swimming in the deep waters of Pisces, so don't be too hard on yourself if you find it difficult to make sense of your dreams. They probably involve space whales anyway. #SaturnInPisces

Uranus and Taurus are bonding like Kirk and Spock over some rebel energy. Embrace change, even if it's as small as switching to reusable straws for your cosmic smoothies. #UranusInTaurus

Neptune is also getting its fins wet in Pisces. Let your creativity flow like a waterfall on a distant moon. Just don't forget to come up for air! #NeptuneInPisces

And

The moon is currently in Virgo, at 17 degrees, 37' 07", at a velocity of 12.2 degrees per day.

The Waxing Gibbous moon is currently 10.4 days old. It is 401307.38 km from the centre of the Earth.

The next new moon is at 15:55:56, 19 May 2023. The next full moon is at 3:43:56, 4 Jun 2023.

Solar wind parameters continued to decline as influence from a negative polarity CH HSS gradually waned. Total magnetic field strength ranged from 3-5 nT and no significant periods of southward Bz were observed. Solar wind speeds were in steady decline, from ~600 km/s to ~450 km/s by the periods end. Phi angle was predominantly oriented in the negative sector.

There is a 35% chance of solar activity, with a 20% chance of a minor event, a 5% chance of a moderate event, and a 1% chance of a strong event.