By The Chip Witch on Sunday, 02 April 2023
Category: Cancer

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers Encounter Cosmic Shell-ter: Intergalactic Good Vibes on the Horizon, Man!"

The next Cancer will start in 81 days, at Thursday, 22 June, 2023

The Moon moves to Cancer in 23 days, at Tuesday, 25 April, 2023

Mercury moves to Cancer in 86 days, at Tuesday, 27 June, 2023

Venus moves to Cancer in 36 days, at Monday, 08 May, 2023

Mars is currently in Cancer

The Waxing Gibbous moon is currently 11.1 days old. The next new moon is at 4:15:48, 20 Apr 2023. The next full moon is at 17:36:47, 5 May 2023.

Ahoy there, Cancer! Gather 'round, me hearties, and lend an ear to what the cosmos is whispering. As Mars drifts into your watery realm like a space chicken gliding through the depths of the universe, you might find yourself feeling a bit...crabby. Fear not, dear crustacean, for it's just the celestial tides at work! Now, with the Waxing Gibbous moon blooming like a giant space zit, your emotions might be as unpredictable as the Holly Hop Drive. One moment, you're as giddy as Kryten in a spare head shop, and the next, you're sulking like Lister after he's run out of curry. Keep a smegging lid on those moods, or you might end up rocking the boat more than Cat does with his outrageous wardrobe. So, my astro-navigators, during this time of planetary shenanigans, remember to grab your bazookoids, channel your inner Ace Rimmer, and be prepared to surf the cosmic waves. With luck, you'll come out the other side with a stellar story to tell, and maybe even a newfound appreciation for the joys of zero-gravity living. And now, the hashtags, because no interstellar forecast would be complete without them: #CancerInTheCosmicCrabNebula #MarsMeetsRedDwarf #WaxingGibbousSpaceZit #SmeggingEmotions #SurfTheCosmicWaves Smoke me a kipper, Cancer, I'll be back for breakfast!

#Cancer

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