Virgo Report

"Virgo's Voyage into the Vortex of Virtuous Vibes: Even Garak Would Stitch a Suit for This Celestial Soiree"

The next Virgo will start in 68 days, at Thursday, 24 August, 2023

The Moon moves to Virgo in 7 days, at Saturday, 24 June, 2023

Mercury moves to Virgo in 42 days, at Saturday, 29 July, 2023

Venus moves to Virgo in 114 days, at Monday, 09 October, 2023

Mars moves to Virgo in 24 days, at Tuesday, 11 July, 2023

The New moon is currently 28.7 days old. The next new moon is at 4:39:10, 18 Jun 2023. The next full moon is at 11:40:30, 3 Jul 2023.

Oh, Virgos, you towel-wielding perfectionists of the zodiac realm, gather around for a horoscope reading that's as scientifically accurate as it can be, considering the New moon is currently 28.7 days old. I mean, what are the odds? Well, they're exactly 1 in 29.53, but who's counting, right? As the next full moon approaches on 3 Jul 2023 at precisely 11:40:30 (and not a nanosecond later), you may experience an overwhelming urge to alphabetize your spice rack. Resisting this temptation could result in spontaneous combustion, or worse, mismatched socks. #Sockpocalypse Your innate ability to calculate probabilities in your head might come in handy when navigating the unpredictable waters of office politics. Remember, you have a 42% chance of success if you bring a thermos of tea to your boss's next meeting. #TeaForTheWin In matters of the heart, you'll find yourself drawn to the complex and enigmatic world of Vogon poetry. While it's true that Vogon poetry is the third worst in the universe, it's still marginally more tolerable than listening to your ex drone on about their stamp collection. #VogonPoetrySlam Financially speaking, don't panic! The stars have aligned in such a way that investing in biodegradable petunias might be your ticket to riches and eco-friendly fame. Just be sure to keep a solid gold brick nearby to check the market value. #GreenThumbBillionaire Lastly, Virgo, remember to always carry your trusty towel with you wherever you go. You never know when you'll need it to fend off ravenous Bugblatter Beasts or simply to wipe the sweat off your brow after yet another intergalactic escapade. #TowelDayEveryDay So, there you have it, Virgo. In the wise words of a certain two-headed president, "Don't Panic!" Embrace your inner nerd, keep that towel close at hand, and may the cosmic absurdity be ever in your favor.

#Virgo

SignToday Is Posting: 17.06.2023 07:52:01 (vir-17-06-2023)