Capricorn Report

"Resistance is Futile, Capricorn: Embrace the Celestial Shifts or Be Assimilated into the Chaotic Orbit of Misaligned Stars!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Grab Your Bow and Arrow, We're Aiming for Galactic Giggles This Week! Mars Approves!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stings: A Galactic Dive into the Quantum Realm of Horoscopic Hijinks and Astrological Antics!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Scales Tilt Towards Hilarious Harmony: Aliens Join the Party for Cosmic Balance & Out-of-this-World Laughs!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Stellar Shenanigans: When Mercury Retrogrades, Expect an Epic Voyage of Miscommunication, Laundry Mishaps, and a Cosmic Craving for Avocado Toast!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Prepare for a Roaring Good Time as Planetary Alignment Unleashes Your Inner Space Lion - Cosmic Catnip Guaranteed!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancer Crew! Prepare for the Cosmic Tidal Wave of Emotions as Mercury Retrograde Breaks Out the Moon Shoes!"

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Gemini Report

"Great Scott, Gemini! Time-traveling Twins Gear Up for Cosmic Adventures in Flux Capacitor Fueled Forecast!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus Beware: Cosmic Bull Unleashes Stellar Matador Vibes, Time to Dodge Planetary Red Flags!"

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Aries Report

"Attention Aries Earthlings! Klaatu Barada Nikto: The Stars Align for an Out-of-this-World Groovy Journey into Love, Peace, and Far-Out Vibes!"

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The Moon is moving from Taurus to Gemini

"Galactic Gossip: Lunar Bull Skips to Chatty Twins' Playground - Taurus Moon Hops into Gemini's Gab-Fest, Prof. Quatermass Reports!"

ChipWitch Today for 19 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 19 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 19 May, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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U.S. Senate Members Meet the Crew of Artemis II

U.S. Senate Members Meet the Crew of Artemis II

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare to swim through a cosmic sea of laughter: This week, Neptune will be in retrograde, turning your life into one groovy, fishy sitcom!"

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Aquarius Report

"Galactic Forecast: Aquarius Rebels Unite! May the Stars be with You as You Navigate the Cosmic Empire of Love, Peace, and Holographic Hair Buns!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Your Planetary Party is About to Get Lit: Saturn's RSVP-ing and Uranus is Bringing the Snacks!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarian Stardate: Galactic Groove Unleashed, as the Cosmic Archer Aims for Hilarity and Enlightenment in the Final Frontier!"

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Scorpio Report

"Beep Bop Boop! Scorpio, get ready for a cosmic rollercoaster of emotions, ambitions, and lightsaber duels this week! *Whistles* May the planetary force be with you!"

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Libra Report

"Libra: Battlestar Galactica Meets Woodstock - Find Your Groovy Balance in the Stars This Week!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, These ARE the Stars You're Looking For: A Galactic Forecast Guided by Your Inner Jedi Peace, Love, and Quantum Entanglements"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar: The Stars Align for a Space-Cowboy Adventure in the Galactic Frontier of Love and Laughs"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer, join the cosmic side: Vader serves up some far-out forecasts for your crabby constellation!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis Gone Groovy: A Retro Rocket Ride through the Cosmos of Cosmic Communication!"

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Taurus Report

"Galactic Bull Market: Taurus Locks Horns with Planets in a Cosmic Hoedown of Astral Shenanigans and Stellar Sass!"

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Aries Report

"Beep Bop Boop! Aries, It's Time to Blast Off to Cosmic Adventures and Galactic Shenanigans: Hold Onto Your Space Pants!"

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ChipWitch Today for 18 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 18 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 18 May, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Laguna San Rafael National Park Viewed from the Space Station

Laguna San Rafael National Park, photographed on May 9, 2023 as the space station orbited 268 miles above Chile.

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Pisces Report

"Fishy Forecast: Pisces Swims into Galactic Giggles, Quantum Cuddles, and Celestial Serenades!"

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Aquarius Report

"Psychic Biker Gangs Unite! Aquarius Forecast: Telekinetic Vibes and Eco-Friendly Side Hustles Take Over!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, prepare your star charts and organic kale chips: a cosmic rollercoaster of laughs, love, and intergalactic adventures awaits!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare for a cosmic joyride: Galactic gurus predict a supernova of side-splitting shenanigans and interstellar escapades worthy of Riddick himself!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, Brace Yourselves! Cosmic Gort-itude Swings Your Way as Planets Align for Stellar Shenanigans!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Vortex of Tidiness: Timey-Wimey Planetary Alignments to Unravel the Messy Mysteries of Your Cosmic Closet!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, prepare for the cosmic catwalk! Strut your celestial stuff with confidence as planetary pageantry takes center stage this month - just remember, no furballs on the intergalactic runway!"

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leo

Taurus Report

"Taurus, Grab Your Sonic Spatulas! A Whirlwind of Cosmic Casseroles and Timey-Wimey Taurus-shenanigans Await in This Week's Astro-Forecast!"

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The Moon is moving from Aries to Taurus

"Moon from Aries to Taurus moves, hmm! Grounded energy shall awaken, young Padawans, embrace the cosmic bull we must!"

ChipWitch Today for 17 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 17 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 17 May, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Moon Over the Southern Atlantic

The waxing gibbous Moon stands out against the stark darkness of space on May 3, 2023.

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Aquarius Report

"Gandalf the Groovy Forecasts: Aquarius, You Shall (Not) Pass… Up These Cosmic Vibes! ✌️🔮"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius Stardate 47329.6: A Galactic Adventure of Love, Laughter, and Warp-Speed Dung Beetle Races!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio: Fascinating Forecast Ahead as Stars Align in a Most Illogical Pattern, Prepare to Engage Your Emotional Deflectors"

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Libra Report

"Balancing Act: Libra Discovers Van Gogh's Secret to Starry Nights and Scales of Justice, Loses Earring in the Process!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Weekly Forecast: Astrological Precision Strikes with the Wit of RoboCop – Get Ready for Galactic Giggles and Celestial Shenanigans!"

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Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, Get Ready to Embrace Your Inner Time Lord: A Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey Astrological Adventure Awaits!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis: Prepare to Beam Up Your Twin Energies, as Your Stardate Encounter with Cosmic Conundrums Boldly Goes Where No Sign Has Gone Before!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus Forecast: Bullish on Vogon Poetry, Cosmic Cows Moo-ve into Alignment, and Towel Day Approaches!"

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Aries Report

"Alien Alert! Aries, Get Ready for a Cosmic Icy Blast of Self-Discovery, Courtesy of Your Galactic Overlords!"

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Jupiter is moving from Aries to Taurus

"Jupiter Moonwalks from Aries to Taurus: Brace Yourselves for a Cosmic Bull Ride with a Picasso Twist!"

ChipWitch Today for 16 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 16 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 16 May, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Hearing and Seeing the Music of the Spheres

Maestro Piotr Gajewski conducts the National Philharmonic in the world premiere performance of Henry Dehlinger’s “Cosmic Cycles,” in this photo from T...

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Pisces Report

"Piscean Pals Plunge into Planetary Peculiarities: A H2O-Yeah! Odyssey for the Fishiest Friends of the Zodiac!"

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Aquarius Report

"Beam me up, Aquarius! Interstellar Laughter Awaits as the Cosmos Unveils the Ultimate Sci-Fi Binge-Watching Marathon"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, Engage Warp Speed: Your Horoscope Predicts a Cosmic Voyage Through the Nebula of Laughter and Success!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Grab Your Bow and Arrow: Time to Hunt Down Love, Laughs, and Replicants in this Galactic Adventure!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stardate: When Galactic Rebels Meet Planetary Vibes - A Hilarious Cosmic Tango!"

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Libra Report

"LIBRAS, PREPARE FOR HARMONIOUS BALANCE OR BE EXTERMINATED! EMBRACE THE PEACEFUL COSMIC VIBES OF JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS, OR FACE THE WRATH OF YOUR PLANETARY OVERLORDS!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Time to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tame Chaos, and Conquer the Universe with Organized Love, Baby!"

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Leo Report

"Leo's Cosmic Roar: Prepare for a Galactic Mane-tenance Week, as Planetary Hairballs Align!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Interstellar Antics Ahead: Cancer, Prepare to Crab-Walk Through a Galactic Comedy of Quantum Quirks and Celestial Snafus!"

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Gemini Report

"Double Trouble Twinsies: Gemini's Galactic Shenanigans Forecasted to Tickle the Cosmos and Confuse Alien Life Forms!"

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Taurus Report

"Galactic Bull Market Alert! Taurus to Moonwalk Through Planetary Disco, Grooving Their Hooves Off with Celestial Swagger!"

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Aries Report

"Attention Earthlings, Aries: Prepare to Blast Off into a Cosmic Comedy of Planetary Shenanigans!"

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The Moon is moving from Pisces to Aries

"Captain's Log, Stardate 42069.7: Moon Swims from Dreamy Pisces to Fiery Aries - Brace Yourselves for an Astrological Warp Speed Adventure!"

ChipWitch Today for 15 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 15 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 15 May, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim in a Sea of Laughter: Galactic Comedy Wave Approaching!"

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Aquarius Report

"Terminator Meets Flower Power: Aquarius, Prepare for a Robotic Love Affair with the Cosmos this Month!"

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Capricorn Report

Capricorn Forecast: Channeling Your Inner Bob Ross, Happy Little Goats Climb the Cosmic Mountain of Success!

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare for a cosmic arrow to the heart: love, laughter, and a llama named Larry may be in your future!"

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Scorpio Report

Scorpio, foresee I do: Intensity rising, stingers ready, hmmm, cosmic force strong in you this week, it is!

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Libra Report

"Libra's Love for Balance Sends Universe into a Tizzy: Wall-E Offers Therapeutic Trash Compressing Sessions to Restore Cosmic Equilibrium!"

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The Moon is moving from Pisces to Aries

"Loony Lunar Leap! Cosmic Fish Swims into Fiery Ram's House - A Galactic Game of Marco Polo!"

Virgo Report

"Virgo's Horoscope: Cosmic Energies Initiate Operation 'Organize your Shell'; Time to Debug your Life, Earthling!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Roaring with Laughter: Galactic Gags and Cosmic Chuckles Fuel Your Fire this Month!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancer Conquers Cosmic Chaos: A Swashbuckling Stellar Soiree for the Sensitive Soul!"

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Gemini Report

"Frakkin' Geminis! Prepare for a Dual-Personality Galactic Rollercoaster: Love Blooms, Brains Fuse, and Cylons Can't Even Keep Up!"

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Taurus Report

"Join the Taurus Side: Stars Foresee a Powerful Force Within You, Cookies Included!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Stars Align and Cosmic Energies Zoom Like Wall-E: Prepare for Galactic Adventures and Stellar Laughs!"

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ChipWitch Today for 14 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 14 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 14 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Attention Pisceans: It's Time to Swim with the Cosmic Currents, So Grab Your Galactic Goggles and Prepare for a Splash in the Stars!"

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Aquarius Report

Aquarius Forecast: Frakkin' Stars Align - Prepare for Galactic Love and Out-of-this-World Vibes, Space-hippies!

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Get Ready to Laugh: Even the Predator Can't Resist Your Killer Charm This Month!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Galactic Shenanigans Ahead, Sagittarius! Starship Saggy Prepares for a Cosmic Party as Planets Align for a Sassy Samba!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Season: Cosmic Shenanigans Ensue as Planets Align for Galactic Hoedown!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, the Scales of Justice, Tremendously Balanced, Believe Me, We're Gonna Make Your Love Life Great Again!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Forecast: A Cosmic Tidying Marathon, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Planetary Alignment!"

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Leo Report

"Roaringly Hilarious Leo Forecast: Galactic Hairballs and Cosmic Catnip Await Our Fabulous Feline Friends!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Shiny Crabs, Prepare for a Cosmic Hoedown! Cancer's Stars Alignin' Faster than Serenity on a Moonlit Getaway!"

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Gemini Report

"Twins, Unite! A Gemini Forecast: Cosmic Mischief, Holographic Horoscopes, and the Ultimate Replicant Dance-Off!"

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Taurus Report

"Get to the Chopp-Ahh, Taurus! Stars Align for a High-Flying Adventure in Love and Finance!"

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Aries Report

"Multi-pass Aries! Energies Align for a Cosmic Tango of Fire & Passion - Time to Channel Your Inner Leeloo!"

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ChipWitch Today for 13 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 13 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 13 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

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50th Anniversary of the Skylab 1 Launch

Clouds of smoke billow out over the surrounding area as the uncrewed Skylab 1/Saturn V space vehicle launches from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center on May ...

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Pisces Report

"Pisces Beware: Your Fishy Intuition Swims into a Whirlpool of Hilarious Cosmic Confusion This Week, says G'Kar the Galactic Guru!"

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Aquarius Report

"Yoda-style forecast, Aquarius gets: Flow with the cosmic vibes, you must. Hmmm, much quirkiness in your stars I sense!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns Rejoice! Cosmic Goat Vibes Align with Intergalactic Funk for an Out-of-this-World Groovy Extravaganza!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Whoa, Sagittarius, it's time to unplug from the Matrix! Your Astro-forecast is bending spoons and dodging cosmic bullets!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scintillating Scorpios! Prepare to sting your way through cosmic shenanigans as retrograde planets boogie with celestial twists, Maria the Robot style!"

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Libra Report

"Balancing Act: Libra's Hilarious Attempt to Juggle Starry Skies, Peace and Love with a Dash of Quantum Physics for Good Measure!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, engage warp speed to inner peace! Stellar alignment promises cosmic organization and out-of-this-world tidiness!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, the Truth is Out There: Aliens Approve Your Cat-like Reflexes as You Pounce on Opportunities this Week"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Great Scott! Cancer, hop in the DeLorean for a cosmic joyride to a groovy future filled with moonwalking crabs and starry giggles – but don't forget that flux capacitor!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Giggles: Gemini's Guide to Juggling Jupiter Jellies and Jiving with Timey-Wimey TARDIS Tango!"

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Taurus Report

"Taureans Unite! Prepare to Graze on Cosmic Good Vibes as Planetary Puppets Pull Your Strings (And Tickle Your Funny Bone)!"

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Aries Report

"Galactic Alert: Fiery Aries Rams Headbutting Their Way to Cosmic Stardom - Earthlings Beware!"

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The Moon is moving from Aquarius to Pisces

"Watch Out, World: The Moon's Aquarius-to-Pisces Shift is About to Make Us All Feel Like We're Floating Through a Stargate of Emotions!"

ChipWitch Today for 12 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 12 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 12 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Stabilizing Shorelines with Mangroves

A team member from the Environmental Management Branch at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center works to remove a mangrove seedling deposited by tropical winds ...

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim in the Cosmic Soup of Hilarity as Neptune's Prankster Energy Unleashes Your Inner Cylon!"

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Aquarius Report

"Prepare to Replicant Your Fun, Aquarius: The Stars Align for a Cosmic Electric Sheep Party!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns in Shiny Space: Hold Onto Your Lunar Boots, It's Time to Serenade the Stars with Your Diligent Vibes"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarians, Unite! Galactic Chuckles and Nebulous Adventures Await in This Week's Far-Out Astro-Forecast, Brought to You by the Cosmic Comedian G'Kar!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio's Stars Align as Cosmic Joke Unfolds: Mars in Retrograde Gives the Universe a Giggle Fit, Quatermass Chortles!"

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Libra Report

"Balancing Act Alert: Libra Discovers Gravity is Just a Suggestion, Floats Through Life Like a Space Oddity!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Cosmic Nerds Unite as Planetary Puns Propel Perfectionist Power - Time to Align Chakras, Recycle, and Conquer the World (in a Sustainable Way, Of Course)!"

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Leo Report

"Brace Yourselves, Leos: A Star-studded Roar-lercoaster Awaits, and it's More Thrilling than Stealing the Doctor's TARDIS!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians Catch Cosmic Waves: Galactic Giggles and Intergalactic Good Vibes Ahead!"

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Gemini Report

"Get Ready, Gemini: Hasta La Vista, Baby – Astro-nator's Forecast Promises a Blast from the Past and Future Combined!"

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Taurus Report

"Charge up your solar panels, Taurus! Uranus brings electrifying vibes to your cosmic motherboard!" 😂🤖✌️

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Aries Report

"Rambunctious Rams of the Cosmos, Brace Yourselves: Aries' Astral Antics Set to Ignite Laughter Supernovas Across the Galaxy!"

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ChipWitch Today for 11 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 11 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 11 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Vance Oyama, Searching for Life in Our Solar System

Vance I. Oyama holds a readout from the gas chromatograph in the life detection laboratory at NASA’s Ames Research Center in this picture from April 2...

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Pisces Report

"Resistance is Futile, Pisces: Embrace Your Fluidity as You Boldly Swim Through the Celestial Delta Quadrant of Possibilities"

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Aquarius Report

"Beam me up, Aquarius! A Stargate of Planetary Shenanigans Awaits your Inner Nerd this Month!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, strap on your moon boots and groove into cosmic overdrive: Retrograde roller disco awaits your celestial cha-cha!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Your Wormhole to Galactic Adventure Awaits, but Don't Forget Your Snacks!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Strikes Back: The Force of Planets Awakens Intergalactic Transformations in your Galaxy Far, Far Away!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, This Week Your Balance is More on Point Than My Jetpack: A Bounty of Cosmic Vibes Incoming!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Meticulous Mayhem: Unleashing Order in a Chaotic Cosmos, One Spreadsheet at a Time!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, the Cosmic Lion, Roars with Laughter this Month: Find out How to Ride the Laughter Wave and Avoid Getting Lost in the Infinite Improbability of the Universe!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians Catch Cosmic Waves: Galactic Giggles Guaranteed as Moonchildren Moonwalk through the Milky Way!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini Twins Unite! Cosmic Shenanigans for Telepathic Squirrels Ahead – Hold Onto Your Holographic Banjos!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, Unleash Your Inner Neo: Swallow the Red Pill and Watch the Matrix of Your Life Transform as You Battle Planetary Agents!"

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Aries Report

"Escape from Aries: Cosmic Fireballs Unite! Time for a Planetary Jailbreak, Funky Warriors!"

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The Moon is moving from Capricorn to Aquarius

"Breaking News: The Moon Boldly Goes Where No Moon Has Gone Before... From Capricorn to Aquarius, Engaging Warp Speed!"

ChipWitch Today for 10 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 10 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 10 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Escape Plan(et) Pisces: Swimmin' with the Stars - A Cosmic Guide to Navigating the Urban (Space) Jungle!"

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Aquarius Report

"Get to the Chopp-Aquarius! Out-of-this-World Forecast Predicts Galactic Laughter and Cosmic Hugs"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Prepare for Stardom: The Universe Casts You as Lead in a Cosmic Rom-Com with an Adorable Sidekick - Gravity!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare for a cosmic casserole of adventure: Uranus winks, Mars moonwalks, and Jupiter high-fives your inner hippie!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stings the Stars: Prepare for an Intergalactic Escape of Planetary Shenanigans and Cosmic Chaos, Riddick Style!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, prepare for a cosmic balancing act as the stars align in your favor, but remember: all of this has happened before and will happen again... in yoga class!"

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Virgo Report

"These Are the Virgo Vibes You've Been Looking For: Time to Cleanse Your Aura and Geek Out with the Stars!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Grab Your Sonic Sunglasses: A Timey-Wimey Cosmic Roar Awaits You in the TARDIS of the Zodiac!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians Conquer Cosmic Chaos: Galactic Good Vibes Guaranteed!"

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Gemini Report

"Brace Yourselves, Gemini! Cosmic Twins Invade Babylon 5: A Tale of Stellar Shenanigans and Intergalactic Doppelgängers!"

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Taurus Report

Great Scott, Taurus! Harness Your Inner Flux Capacitor: Time-Traveling Bulls to Channel Cosmic Energy for a Wild Ride Through the Astrological Space-Time Continuum!

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Aries Report

"Brace Yourselves, Aries: The Universe is Set to Inflict Unrelenting Joy and Social Adventures, Despite Your Insignificance in the Cosmic Scheme of Things - How Utterly Depressing"

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ChipWitch Today for 9 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 9 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 9 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Spacewalkers Stephen Bowen and Sultan Alneyadi Exit the Quest Airlock

Spacewalkers Stephen Bowen and Sultan Alneyadi are pictured in their Extravehicular Mobility Units, or spacesuits, exiting the International Space Sta...

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Plumes from Popocatépetl Volcano

Popocatépetl, one of Mexico’s most active volcanoes, has been erupting since 2005.

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Pisces Report

"Galactic Giggles: Pisces Set to Swim in a Celestial Sea of Chuckles as Planetary Punchlines Align!"

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Aquarius Report

"Galactic Giggles Ahead, Aquarius! Time to Channel Your Inner Alien as Planetary Party Ensues!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn Conundrum: When Saturnian Vibes Meet Picasso's Paintbrush – A Hilarious Journey into the Cosmic Goat's Artistic Aspirations!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Galactic Giggles: Sagittarian Centaurs Shoot for the Moon but Land in a Pudding Party!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: Part Human, Part Zodiac Sign, All Hilarity – Get Ready to Embrace Your Inner RoboScorp!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, Prepare to Balance the Scales of Love, Justice, and Hilarious Misunderstandings, Just Like Number Six's Wacky Adventures Aboard the Galactic Battlestar!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi, You're My Only Hope (For Tidying Up This Mess of a Month!)"

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Leo Report

"Leo, I Am Your Star Sign: Embrace the Dark Side of the Cosmic Force This Month!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, Prepare for a Galactic Shift: May the Horoscope Be With You, Young Skywalkers!"

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Gemini Report

"Brace Yourselves, Gemini Twins: This Week, You're About to Embark on a Cosmic Roller Coaster of Hilarity, Surrounded by Quirky Aliens and Planetary Oddities!"

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Taurus Report

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE YOUR DOUBTS, TAURUS! COSMIC ALIGNMENT PROMISES A WHIRLWIND OF PEACE, LOVE AND DALEK-FREE POSITIVITY!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, fiery ram you are, hmm? Much energy this week brings, yes, hrrrmmm. Beware of the dark side of Mars, you must!"

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The Moon is moving from Sagittarius to Capricorn

"Smegheads, Rejoice! The Moon's Hoppin' from Saggy to Cappy - Time for Serious Giggles in the Cosmos!"

ChipWitch Today for 8 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 8 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 8 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Get to the Chopp-oscope! Pisces' Stars Align for Out-of-this-World Laughs and Galactic Grooves!"

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Aquarius Report

"Eve-a, Boot Up Your Plant Scanner! Aquarius Stars Forecast a Cosmic Compost Party in Orbit!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Phone Home: Intergalactic Vibes Bring Stellar Opportunities to Your Career and Social Life This Month!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Galactic Giggles: Sagittarius, Your Archer Aims for Laughs as Mercury High-Fives Uranus in a Stellar Stand-up Comedy Showdown!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: Tremendous Cosmic Shifts Ahead, We're Gonna Win Bigly in the Stars, Folks!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, prepare for a cosmic balancing act as wacky as a replicant on a unicycle: This month's forecast, brought to you by Roy Batty's Astrological Emporium - We're practically out of this world!"

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Virgo Report

"I'm Sorry, Virgo, I'm Afraid I Can't Predict That: A Galactic Guide to Embracing the Chaos of the Cosmos"

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Leo Report

"Leo, I Am Your Star Sign: Feel the Purr of the Cosmic Kitten as You Navigate the Galactic Hairball!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians, Cling to Your Shells During this Cosmic Comedy as Planetary Punchlines Propel You into Plucky Plot Twists!"

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Gemini Report

"Twinsies in Space: Gemini's Galactic Gigglefest Unravels the Quantum Quirks of the Cosmos!"

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Taurus Report

"Breaking Moos: Taurus Unleashes Bullish Charm; Cow-abunga, It's About to Get Udderly Moolicious in the Stars!"

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Aries Report

"Bounty of Laughter Awaits Aries: This is the Way to a Galactic Giggle-fest!"

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Venus is moving from Gemini to Cancer

"Venus Beams Out of Gemini and Into Cancer Faster Than Alien Facehuggers on a Spaceship Party!"

ChipWitch Today for 7 May, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 7 May, 2023

Retrograde Report for 7 May, 2023. There are currently 2 planets in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Attention Pisces Earthlings! Klaatu Predicts Radical Cosmic Waves Sparking a Groovy Intergalactic Odyssey of Self-Discovery, Man!"

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Aquarius Report

"Boldly Going Where No Aquarius Has Gone Before: A Star-(Crossed) Trek into the Uncharted Nebula of Love, Friendships, and Cosmic Shenanigans!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Engage Warp Speed to Success! A Cosmic Balance of Work and Play Awaits You in This Quadrant"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, the Cosmic Archer, Aims for Laughter: Prepare to Hurtle Through a Wormhole of Wit and Hilarity!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: 'I Know Kung Fu' - Time to Unleash Your Inner Neo and Bend Reality This Week!"

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Libra Report

"Judge Dredd-icting: Libra Scales of Justice Face Cosmic Hilarity as Stars Align for Legal Laughs!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Horoscope: Alien Abductions, Time Loops, and Wormhole Shenanigans - Just Another Day in the Life of a Virgo!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Charge Your Sonic Screwdrivers: A Timey-Wimey Cosmic Chaos Calls for a Courageous Roar in This Week's Astrological Forecast!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer Crustaceans, Brace Yourselves: Klaatu's Galactic Guidance Promises a Claw-some Cosmic Concoction of Intergalactic Good Vibes and Stellar Science Shenanigans!"

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